Under the Chaos

I have lived

i have seen

but under this chaos

nothing seems to change

I might be wrong 

and everything is changing

It might be good

but it may not be worth living

To be or Not to be 

thats not the question

the real question is

What to be for the rest of our lives

because under this chaos 

everything can change

It doesn't feel the same
everything has changed
i wonder why
but i don't look for an answer


Let your mind's eye show you
the truth, the lies, everything


Because when I look up the stars
I don't know what to say
because under this chaos
everything can change


Now lets smile and be grateful
because everything and anything
is worth it


[Lyrics for Under the Chaos by Jose E Perez, XD]

That Satisfaction That Can't Be Found

This has been one of the best weeks in a while. This Thursday and Friday I was able to hang out with some friends and just hang, talk, just there. I also know of the existence of High Society or whatever it is called, it is an amazing view I have to say. It has a view of what us Temeculans call the horrible city of Temecula, and if u look up at the sky, the stars stare at you, brighting up even the darkest place. I also learned the I still suck at pool. And Bonfires are great to. And last but not least, Swag.

After having 2 late night outs with my friends I realized once again that I love not planing things and doing things just as things go, going with the flow. Something I haven't done since I started school, which ends in 3 weeks, shocking.

Music, thank you for everything so far.

Harry Potter in 6 days, got my tickets, ready to see that movie.

Freedom. I hate restraints. Why do we have to follow what our past did. Why go through the stages of life. Why not live with no end, no limit. Why can't I just go out there not worry about money, about how I look, about who I am, about what I do. Why do I worry when I want freedom and no restraints. Why, why, why. Even worst why when I try and try I see no result. Pisses me off. Why dammit, why. What have I done wrong. Why can't I be free, why can't I love, why can't I just say what I please. Why o Why?

When will I be truly Happy and not have to wear this Tiresome Smile that everyone believes in. 


Why do people think I'm happy, satisfied, why? Why do I get praised for? Why am I talking about this? Why am I not satisfied? What is my Greed? What is my Lust? What sins do I have to do to be satisfied? 


Why o why, why God, why Allah, why Buddha, why Great Father, why dear entity?

^Seriously, what the hell. Gotta love the thoughts inside one's head.^

Also, please listen to the song Day N Nite by Kid Cudi. Listen to the original, not the Crooker's version. But truly listen to those lyrics, they're so simple and true to me, but I'm not a stoner. Great song.

LEGO is basically two dutch words, Leg Godt, meaning play good. I found this interesting. 

Just because silly goose said I was going to put it I will. Pad Thai is a delicious dish, it has a great combination of ingredients and it is just great. And your welcome.

No todo lo que es oro brilla. Not everything that is gold shines.

Good night, and like my friend says, One Love. 

Buenas Noches.

Manu Chao - Me gustas tu

Day After Day

So today one of my wheels air licked out. So I had to rotate my wheels around and stuff. While I was doing this a car parked, with some distance from my car, next to me. The guy driving came out and offered some helped, I told him that I was good and thanks for offering. He just stood there and said, "I'm out of my car already, so lemme help." I just couldn't say no. After we were done I thank him, and truly appreciated his help. He left and I started heading home to. I bring this story because I was given help by a complete stranger, showing that people still do acts of kindness for nothing in return. This guys name is Eddy, and gotta tell you, I appreciated it man, truly do. 

Another thing today that happened was that I played guitar while waiting for my friend to go to the library and study. While I was playing a guy came up, and was like, "May I seat here. Dude I got that same guitar." I let him sit and listen to what I was playing. His name is Caesar, he is someone cool to talk to. As I was playing, we converse about our guitar playing and such. It was fun, as simple as the conversation might have been, he was an interesting guy.

Yet another event that had me thinking. Today I was told by someone that they haven't figure me out.   As short and fast this was said, it really got me thinking. I dunno why, it just did. What is there to figure out though? What is it? Who knows? I'll ask later. So later I asked. So what makes me tick, thats what it means. That is a good question, what runs me? What do I strive for? Why do I strive? Good questions, which I think I know the answer to, but I'm not sure what the answers are. I am in confusion. I am in need.

That reminds me, I'm struggling with a decision. What is right to do? What is right to say? What will happen? Will I be satisfied? What should I do? Why am I asking? Why not just do? AAAHH!!! FUCK!!! I dunno. The sad story of my life.

My struggle is obtaining those two things in life that I want the most off. But what should I do? What is the right thing? Who knows I think I'll be satisfied for a while though.

I gotta say, its getting lonelier, even though everything is fine, its getting lonelier.

Music, I fucking LOVE you. You don't even know.

"Que voy a hacer 
Je ne sais pas 
Que voy a hacer 
Je ne sais plus 
Que voy a hacer 
Je suis perdu 
Que horas son, mi corazon" 

"Me Gustas Tu" Manu Chao

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Thats me and Abigail. One of my guitars, one of the two that understand.

Also, pb&j, you will always make me laugh, because of today. Naked Pooh Bear, you to.

Complaints -_-'

Why do we complain? That's my question. Is it because we are not satisfied or because we just can. Such confusion. However, when we complain does it satisfy something or does it relieve us from the pain in our daily lives? I've noticed for the past few days that I'm complaining of things here and there, for reasons I don't know. I think it does relieve my pains and annoyances that life puts me through. Throughout my eighteen years of life I've seen from youngsters to old people complain, complaints that can both be resolved and sometimes cannot. Also, I've seen that complaints are really meaningful and sometimes their just worthless.

So I looked up Paramore in the dictionary, and found out that the actual word is paramour, and it means a lover. I just found this interesting.

I believe I'm crazy. I think I am, I can't prove it, but my mind is just going coco.

Here's a post just to be posted.

Why Must I

Why must I hide? Why must I lie? Why must I regret? Why must I show this happy smiling face?

Story of my life haha

Thoughts of the day.

The nonsense.

The awesomeness.

The greatness.

The amazing-ness.

I feel like dancing, but not any dancing, Mexican party dancing. :] Why? Because you don't even know.

Sentences...

I'm tyred.

I'm weird.

Can't wait for Harry Potter to come out.

I want to get out.

I want to run free.

I want to leave this place. I want to not be bound to finish. I want to keep going.

I want two things in life.

But what has life given me of what I want? Nada. But it has given me everything else i have never asked for, for that I appreciate it whoever is up there, or around or so on and so forth.

I wanna read now. XD

^ [: Good Times :] ^ 

Looks like a weirder blog, stupid chicken making semi-negative.

Love you world.

By the way women out there if pregnant don't eat a lot of things with peanuts, it causes little tiny stomach babies to develop severe allergies. Be warned.

Night <(-_-< <(-_-)> >-_-)>

Finger Pain :]

What can I say? I didn't give a shit. I was as loud as I could. I improvised. I remembered. I was happy. I was sad. I was satisfied. I was communicating. I was given looks. I was given smiles. I created curiosity. I just keep going. I kept it simple. I made it difficult. I wasn't alone. A good friend came. She showed me feeling. She showed appreciation. I was alone again. What can I say? Alas, my fingers hurt. Alas, Jackie and I played together once again. Alas, I love playing guitar. 

So being a kid that grew up watching Toy Story back in Mexico, I was sad that I watched the Toy Story 3 English version and had to wait for the Spanish version to be released on DVD. But the wait was over, last night, I. Saw. It. XD Not only does it bring good memories because I grew up watching Toy Story and it is beyond amazing. But what does this movie, the third one, make people feel? Or my peers feel? Personally it brings my inner child out and reminds me not to forget him, that every moment in life a kids fun perspective should be out and about. Also, friendship, it's incredible how many ties we make throughout our lives and I think all humans should remember and appreciate every friend, family member, and lover we have and meet. Why keep all those ties? Well, simply because it can make, personally, a person mature, intelligent, understanding. Yes, there may be bad situations with people, but most of them should also be remembered, we can learn from them. This movie, to me, also tells me that not always can we be a kid and hope everything stays the same, we have to learn to let go. Let go of people, remember them but let them be free. Man this movie has loads of stuff. I dunno what else to write/type.


Chemical Bonding... ANNOYING!!!


What can one do? Just wait? 
What can one say? Nothing?
What can one hope? Good?
What can I say? Fuck it :]


Molecular Orbital Theory... BULL SHIT!!! PERIOD.




People of the world, I am exited. FREE MOVIE TICKETS TO HARRY POTTER 7 part 1 MIDNIGHT SHOWING!!!!! YEY XD I need to get em fast.


Well, woke up early today, lab wasn't finished. Also, I need to finish the english online stuff, which is pointless and annoying and probably be my downfall for English. English 004, don't get me started. Harder than English 1A. People got lucky to get into English 1A. If 1A students took 004, they would fail or get a C-. Grammar is killing me. Why don't they teach that better in high school? Who knows. My thoughts about English.

Overall, good week so far, can't complain yet. Hope I can go to beautiful San Diego again. 


Now for breakfast and shower. 


Laterz...

To Be Or Not To Be?

Well it is another wonderful Mexican holiday that makes me proud of being Mexican, El Dia De Los Muertos. The day of the death is the one day of the year in which we bring back to life our ancestors our passed away family. How do we bring them back? Thats easy, we stop being who we are and put on a mask of an old man or woman, or La Calaca. This celebration has a lot of traditions such as, dancing, visiting the graves of our difuntos and eating pan de muerto and drinking champurrado. Personally I don't celebrate it like it is usually celebrated but I do think of all those that passed away and the impact they made in our lives.

Moving along, I gotta say I went and voted. Hope everyone voted yes on K because I want a wither freeway. Also it seems that the democrats are losing seats in the House of Republicans, and that is going to suck for our dear Obama. So while I write this thing I'm looking at the results and damn that House is kicking butt. Now the House is controlled by the Republicans. Fun haha.

Back to nonsense....Tonight...

What To Do? What To Do?

That is a lovely question, what to do?
I wonder how people would answer this question. Would it be a right answer, a wrong answer, a desperate answer, an answer everyone gives, or not answer.

Who knows but recently this question has popped up to many times this past few day. I think I have to thank college for this, I think it made me more aware of my life and made me more thoughtful than before. Also, this much thinking has led me to type all this random thoughts of mine into a nice little weird blog XD.

Back to the question.
What to do?
What should I truly do?
And if I do that, is it the right thing?

...[thinking time, tick tock tick tock]

As of right now I'm trying to figure what things to vote for. I'm actually excited that I'll vote because I remember when I was little and my parents discussed who and what to vote for. I thought it was fun. But now that I'm older it's my turn and I want to, even though a little, make a difference.

What to do? Keep going forward and acting the same or just step out and see what happens?
Who knows, I like whats happening.

Pointless talk.

Today was rather musical. With some music while I took a good short nap before chem class, soothing, and music on my way back home. Man I love music. I love how there is such a broad choice, and how worldwide is one thing that joins us all together. Also, a few days ago I was playing Jackie[my guitar] and I did not play with feeling, I lost my muse. I started worrying because I love playing Jackie. But with college being so amazingly distracting and separating me from Jackie I didn't feel the music. As weird as that sounds. But this past week I decided to make more guitar time and so I found my new muse, a good one to. So now I will play guitar at school certain days and start making more greatness.

Now I wish all a good, Dia de Todos Los Santos. All mention and explain it tomorrow.

Man do I go all over the place. Fun.

Lets end this, chem was fun, I was a good student and put lots of attention to class. And didn't fool around, at all.

Well good night you all, and have a great night of dream, "For in dreams, we enter a world that is entirely our own. Let him swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud,"Albus Dumbledore [HP: Prisoner of Azkaban].

By the way, THEY SELL A REMOTE CONTROL MILLENNIUM FALCON!!!! I WANT IT!!!! XD

I have officially gone coco for cocoa PUFFS!!! 

The Nightmare of Halloween

Well, what can I say, I think a I am going to use this blog to express and show who I am, hence the title. Also, I believe this could help me in developing my horrible grammar because I hate getting bad grades in English do to grammar.

My reasons of why I'm bloging are on the table now, lets continue with something else shall we. 

So this halloween has been totally different I have to say. Not only did I not go Trick-or-Treating but I'm actually doing homework while giving out candy to the people that come here. [I gotta say this, chocolate is amazing] The even weirder thing is that I like doing this homework. I'm reading Jarhead by Anthony Swofford, and is so interesting. While I read I am also listening to the great remakes of The Nightmare Before Christmas by really amazing artists. 

So in regards toward Jarhead, I have to say, it is a must read. This book talks to me, is as if Mr. Swofford was right in front of me and telling me what a jarhead really is. It is so interesting what he says. They way he explains is good and thanks to psych class I think of how much psychological pain they go through. It's incredible how they can comeback to the states and live normally. This book makes me appreciate the sacrifice our troops make and so thankful of what they do. Thanks dudes and dudetes.

Now the great remake of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas OST is amazing. So while handing out candy I was looking for halloween music. Obviously I played "This is Halloween," thats when I found out they remade all the Nightmare songs. Best part, they are good artists, Flyleaf, The All-American Rejects, Amy Lee, KoRn and Rise Against. Pure Awesomeness. 

This Halloween was rather unexpected with some Riverside dancing and siting at home giving out candy. I liked it, I had fun. If it were any other year I wouldn't have, I dunno why but yeah. I think I've grown and appreciate anything that I get, Jarhead made me realize that to, weird haha. But I can't complain everything is good and awesome. 

Well, this is officially my first blog, dunno what to expect but I think typing out whatever I want and expressing in a coherent way, I think, whatever comes to mind can help my with my beautiful English troubles. XD

<(^_^<  <(^_^)>  >^_^)>

Lets Dance...